Top 5 Ridiculous Moments

I have found myself in a bit of a funk this past week. I think it's because everything that once seemed so incredibly absurd is now...well...normal. Up until today, I don't think I had gone a single day without saying, "well that was weird." Today when I was greeting my students at the front gate at 7 AM and then teaching the entire school how to say "see you tomorrow" (a complete lost cause), I never once thought that it was odd. Never in my life would I think I would be charading to the assistant director, who is dressed in a mix of a boy scouts and safari outfit, and being interrupted by the Thai national anthem a typical day. So as a way of saying goodbye to the absolute novelty of Thailand and moving into normalcy, I've decided to make a list of the top 5 most ridiculous of my time in Thailand (thus far).

5. That time a monk asked me if I was single
On Monday I found myself in my first real funk. NOTHING exciting or weird had happened at school. I was a little disappointed and couldn't believe how odd I felt that nothing strange had happened. As I walked home through the temple I walk through twice a day, I happened upon a few monks. I said the usual "sawadee kha" expecting the mundane head nod. But this monk with square-framed glasses knew some English, and began asking me if I was a teacher, how long I had been in Thailand...the usual. Then he asked if I came here alone. "Yes, I did."
"Are you single?" He asked. "Yes," I responded. There was an awkward silence and I told him I would see him later and walked away.




4. The day I got comfortable yelling, "BOAT! SIT DOWN"
Okay, I still laugh when I yell at one of my class clowns, Boat, but only partially because of his name. He is usually doing something laughable that I can't be entirely mad about. But the fact that I could hardly contain myself in the first week when I found out that my kids would be named Pee (okay, pronounced "Bee"), Beer, Ball, Beam, First, Knot, and Cucumber, I'd say I've made some pretty big strides. But once again, I never thought I'd be calling so many students inanimate objects, or considering it normal.









3. When I got head-butted by a baby elephant
My first full weekend in Ayutthaya I went to the elephant sanctuary just off the island. After getting up-close and personal with the elephants, I found that I really enjoyed watching them from afar...and watching people freak out when they tried to feed them cucumbers. I was aware that there was a baby elephant (5 months old) running around, but he was so preoccupied by flopping around in a haystack and all the people circling around him. I didn't think he would be interested in the farang standing by herself watching the grown-up elephants. In my solitary amusement, I suddenly felt something slam into my butt. I looked around and saw that it was the baby elephant's doing. I was a bit taken aback, because even though he is adorable, I didn't really want to rough-house with a 140 kilo baby. I quickly stepped (okay, ran) away and let the little rascal gallivant around on its own.

2. There's a leopard on that table
When you go to a historical site such as the Bridge over the River Kwai, you expect to see your typical tourist fare: t-shirts, post cards, thousands of tourists, souvenir stands, leopards.Ok, even in Thailand you're not completely used to the last one.
On my way to walk across the bridge over the River Kwai, I looked to my left and not-so-casually yelled "THAT IS A LEOPARD" to a leopard casually sleeping on a table a mere 8 feet away from us. It wasn't until our way back that we realized the leopard was in fact chained to the table (by an incredibly short chain). We noticed this however, because it was waking up and snapping at people. When I took a picture of it, the owner asked if I would like to take a picture with it "only 100 baht." Seeing as I did not want to support this cruel man--or get my head bitten off-- I politely declined.

1. The day students had to charade that a man fell through the ceiling
I know I've already told this story, but the mixture between the scaffolding at my school and the fact that a workman was so easily able to fall through the roof of my classroom still blows my mind.
One day as I was exiting the cafeteria, four of my tiniest and most adorable students swarmed me and began jabbering in Thai. My students began pointing to the fifth floor of the building in front of them, where their classroom is, and continually said the word "drop!" "Are they telling me about an egg drop?" I thought. They then began to grab my arms and yell "lift! lift!" as they led me over to the elevator. I said to them, "you want me to lift you somewhere? Am I going to get in trouble? Are you tricking me?!" Of course none of this was understood so I got into the elevator and they jumped up to hit the "5" button. I walked hurriedly down the hall with my pint-sized companions, and ended up in their classroom where there were several women sweeping up debris from a giant hole that had formed in the ceiling. "OH," I said. "A man dropped through the roof." 

pink elephants didn't even make the list of top 5 ridiculousness

And there you have it...my absurd time in Thailand thus far. It's been great, I love it, and I hope dodging elephants, yelling at children nicknamed inanimate objects, and playing charades doesn't get old too fast.

Kanchanaburi

morning view from the Jolly Frog

Don't worry everyone: I made it to Kanchanaburi in once piece!

After being dropped off in front of a 7 Eleven on the side of an unknown road, we were able to find someone who spoke enough English to give us directions to walk to our hostel, which was 2 km away (since there were no taxis or tuk tuks in sight). Upon arriving to the simple Jolly Frog Backpacker's hostel, which is situated on a street with limitless amounts of backpacker bars and restaurants, we were escorted to our 200 baht a night room (that's $7 a night for 2 people). The room was less than luxurious (to say the least) and we were next to a loud bunch of people who part of a Thai wedding party...groom included. But for the cheap price and convenient location, we couldn't really complain, especially when we walked outside the next morning and found ourselves right on the River Kwae with a gorgeous views of the mountains in the Western part of Central Thailand.

farangs at the falls!

After a breakfast that included BREAD, we headed up to Erawan National Park, known for its beautiful 7-tiered waterfall. It was, in fact, absolutely breathtaking and a fairly easy hike. But this waterfall, known for being one of the most beautiful in all of Asia, is no secret: the path was crowded with tourists running around in their bikinis and speedos, though there are signs at the entrance to "respect the culture" and wear shorts and a t-shirt while swimming. Even though the falls were swarming with tourists, the falls are also popular among Thais, who often flock there to swim in the cool waters. My friends and I made it to all 7 tiers at a leisurely pace, and were continuously impressed by the gorgeous cascade each fall presented. It was also refreshing to get out in nice, cool(er), and clean air and frolic in the jungle for the afternoon. We even got to feel like the farang celebrities that we are when we asked a woman to take a picture of us in front of the sign to the national park, and all 15 other (Asian) people waiting also took our picture. Celebrity status, I'm telling you.

Sunset over the River Kwae

The next day we made our way to the famous bridge over the River Kwae, which was made famous because of the Oscar-winning movie Bridge on the River Kwai. Though it is not the original bridge that was built by the POWs and Thai slaves in the Japanese war camp during WWII, it has become a symbol and monument to the thousands of people that died during the construction of the "Death Railway." Though the museum was horrible (worst I have ever been to due to the randomness, questionable legitimacy of artifacts, and insufficient information in any language) and the bridge crowded, I DID learn a little bit and thoroughly enjoyed walking across the bridge, learning about something I knew nothing about, and being in beautiful Kanchanaburi.

The Bridge and a Chinese Temple

I loved my trip to Kanchanaburi and would recommendmaking a trip to anyone in central Thailand. I would also highly recommend the Jolly Frog for the backpackers out there--just don't get your food with large groups because they are NOT happy to accommodate separate checks. I would also recommend checking out Erawan Falls, but be prepared for a leisurely hike and swarms of tourists. If you get the opportunity or have the funds to go to a less-crowded area, you should definitely take advantage.

Typical

Earlier this week Kate and I decided to meet some friends in kanchanaburi, which is home to the bridge that set the story for the famous 1957 movie 'Bridge on the River Kwai' and is a popular tourist destination. Should be easy to get to, yes? This is Thailand we're talking about, so of course not.
After scouring the Internet for any information about a bus from Ayutthaya to Kanchanaburi and having no luck, we finally asked some Thai friends who told us that we take the 130 bus from a large shopping complex an hour away. Well, we are currently the only 2 farangs squished in the back of a minibus (large van frequently used as a mode of transportation) that is not marked with any numbers, and 2 extra people have been shoved in...one on a plastic stool in the middle of 2 seats (safety first always). Are we going to Kanchanaburi? Will we end up in Burma? Might we be dropped off in a town where no one speaks English? All valid questions, but rest assured that after the driver (with a look of dread in his eyes) asked us where we were going--and after a few attempts to understand our terrible accents and mispronunciation-- and confirmed that we will in fact reach our final destination (next blog post will hopefully confirm this).
Just another typical Thai adventure filled with confusion, charades, and some breach of American safety regulations.

World's Biggest Birthday Party

In the United States you hear about celebs' huge birthday bashes: who showed up, what was served, how much money was spent, and how they partied through the night. But does a whole entire country celebrate their birthdays? Why, no, and that what makes the King of Thailand's birthday oh-so-special.
Going into today I knew that the country had a strong allegiance to their king, who also happens to be the longest reigning monarch...ever. I was aware that hundreds of thousands of people were going to line the streets in Bangkok to catch a glimpse of his highness for his first public appearance on Father's Day in 6 years. I knew that if I did not wear yellow, the King's favorite color, that I would stick out even more than I already do. I did not know, however, how large the celebration would extend to Ayutthaya. At around 5 o'clock I had an idea of how big the celebration would be when I heard Gangnam Style blast and my room begin to rattle. I went outside and saw that not only was there a huge stage set up outside of our guesthouse, but that our whole street had been transformed into a huge market with carnival games, muay Thai rings, and projection screens.

Creeper shot: candle lighting

Though the festivities started out with a huge ceremony in front of town hall to commemorate the King, complete with Buddhist monks sending their prayers and giant fireworks, the rest of the evening was for the people to enjoy. Pick your poison: fried food, Thai dances and performances, musical acts, muay Thai fights, or movies. Being a novice to all of these things, we exposed ourselves to all.

My first muay Thai fight.

The muay Thai fighting was definitely the highlight for me. Muay Thai is a kind of Thai boxing that can begin training at a very young age ( 6, perhaps?). It takes great skill and agility, but is ruthless and intense. The fighters are incredibly agile and quick, and each of the rounds are quite short.

The Thai performances were extremely different than just about anything that could be imagined in the United States. The musical instruments vaguely sounded like the banging of pots and pans, and the glittery costumes were blinding.

As much as I enjoyed the King's birthday festivities, I am a bit bitter because though it was convenient to have such a short commute to and from the excitement, my bedroom will not stop rattling from the beat of the drum and the sound of the music from the performance outside, which just so happens to be on the largest stage in the whole celebration. I did see some of my students out tonight though, so I suppose I won't be the only one tired in school tomorrow.

right outside of our guesthouse

Kim and me dressed in yellow to honor the King.

Loi Krathong

me with our krathong

Last Wednesday was the Thai holiday known as Loi Krathong. The holiday involves the release of little floats (krahtongs) made out of bread or banana tree into a body of water.. Many people put toe nail clippings or pieces of hair on their rafts to symbolize the release of anything dirty or sinful. The release of the rafts is supposed to symbolize letting go of any grudges or bad feelings, and to make a wish for the year to come. It is a time where family comes together to eat food, watch (or maybe partake in) beauty pageants, and set off lots of fireworks.

Angry Birds krathongs made from bread

My friends and I went to two Loi Krathong celebrations. One that was a large market and a carnival by our guesthouse, and the other which was across the street from the school in which I teach. We did not set off our krathongs until we got to the second celebration, as we felt better and "more Thai" by letting go of our sins into one of the rivers that makes Ayutthaya an island. My friends and I were all novices, and sheepishly lit the candles and incense on our kratongs while trying to slyly watch the experienced Thai people release their krathongs into the river. Some of the families went out into the middle of the river on a boat, but we decided to stay ashore. Upon kneeling down on the edge of the dock, we noticed many little boys swimming in the water and carrying out krathongs of families that would tip them, ensuring that their sins and grudges be carried down the river.

Kate and I about to release our lantern

Loy Krathongalso falls on the same day as a lantern holiday in northern Thailand. Though this holiday is primarily celebrated in Chiang Mai, the idea of releasing lanterns into the sky has become a symbol of Thailand and good luck. Kate and I had seen gorgeous pictures of lanterns being released in Chiang Mai and decided to release one of our own. Though our lantern joined only a few other lanterns in the night sky, it was still cool to release one and look up at the sky throughout the night and see tiny orange dots that were other people's wishes of good luck.

After releasing our beautiful floral banana tree krathong and  our good luck lantern, we went up to a parking lot that is generally a market at night, that was turned into a fair ground complete with bright lights and 2 stages for performances and a beauty pageant.

away goes our lantern!

Besides celebrating Thai holidays (The King's birthday/father's day is on Wednesday and constitution day is December 10), I have been teaching and really enjoying it. My students are for the most part entertaining, and I have some real sweethearts. Last week as I was exiting the cafeteria, four of my tiniest and most adorable students swarmed me and began jabbering in Thai. One of the hardest parts of teaching at a Thai school is that I cannot connect with most of my students because of the language barrier. So instead, my time at school--actually, most of my time in Thailand--is a giant game of charades with a few English words mixed in. My students began pointing to the fifth floor of the building in front of them, where their classroom is, and continually said the word "drop!" "Are they telling me about an egg drop?" I thought. They then began to grab my arms and yell "lift! lift!" as they led me over to the elevator. I said to them, "you want me to lift you somewhere? Am I going to get in trouble? Are you tricking me?!" Of course none of this was understood so I got into the elevator and they jumped up to hit the "5" button on the elevator. I walked hurriedly down the hall with my pint-sized companions, and ended up in their classroom where there were several women sweeping up debris from a giant hole that had formed in the ceiling. "OH," I said. "A man dropped through the roof."

The hole in the ceiling

The poor M1/1's classroom is still closed off, and the school is still undergoing a massive paint job (as to why there was a painter on the roof) on the bamboo scaffolding around the school. The event of a painter causally falling through a roof would never happen in the United States, but because everyone is safe and sound, this is just another "only in Thailand" type of story that makes every day an adventure.

scaffolding on the side of the school...safety regulations are clearly MUCH different