Top 5 Ridiculous Moments

I have found myself in a bit of a funk this past week. I think it's because everything that once seemed so incredibly absurd is now...well...normal. Up until today, I don't think I had gone a single day without saying, "well that was weird." Today when I was greeting my students at the front gate at 7 AM and then teaching the entire school how to say "see you tomorrow" (a complete lost cause), I never once thought that it was odd. Never in my life would I think I would be charading to the assistant director, who is dressed in a mix of a boy scouts and safari outfit, and being interrupted by the Thai national anthem a typical day. So as a way of saying goodbye to the absolute novelty of Thailand and moving into normalcy, I've decided to make a list of the top 5 most ridiculous of my time in Thailand (thus far).

5. That time a monk asked me if I was single
On Monday I found myself in my first real funk. NOTHING exciting or weird had happened at school. I was a little disappointed and couldn't believe how odd I felt that nothing strange had happened. As I walked home through the temple I walk through twice a day, I happened upon a few monks. I said the usual "sawadee kha" expecting the mundane head nod. But this monk with square-framed glasses knew some English, and began asking me if I was a teacher, how long I had been in Thailand...the usual. Then he asked if I came here alone. "Yes, I did."
"Are you single?" He asked. "Yes," I responded. There was an awkward silence and I told him I would see him later and walked away.




4. The day I got comfortable yelling, "BOAT! SIT DOWN"
Okay, I still laugh when I yell at one of my class clowns, Boat, but only partially because of his name. He is usually doing something laughable that I can't be entirely mad about. But the fact that I could hardly contain myself in the first week when I found out that my kids would be named Pee (okay, pronounced "Bee"), Beer, Ball, Beam, First, Knot, and Cucumber, I'd say I've made some pretty big strides. But once again, I never thought I'd be calling so many students inanimate objects, or considering it normal.









3. When I got head-butted by a baby elephant
My first full weekend in Ayutthaya I went to the elephant sanctuary just off the island. After getting up-close and personal with the elephants, I found that I really enjoyed watching them from afar...and watching people freak out when they tried to feed them cucumbers. I was aware that there was a baby elephant (5 months old) running around, but he was so preoccupied by flopping around in a haystack and all the people circling around him. I didn't think he would be interested in the farang standing by herself watching the grown-up elephants. In my solitary amusement, I suddenly felt something slam into my butt. I looked around and saw that it was the baby elephant's doing. I was a bit taken aback, because even though he is adorable, I didn't really want to rough-house with a 140 kilo baby. I quickly stepped (okay, ran) away and let the little rascal gallivant around on its own.

2. There's a leopard on that table
When you go to a historical site such as the Bridge over the River Kwai, you expect to see your typical tourist fare: t-shirts, post cards, thousands of tourists, souvenir stands, leopards.Ok, even in Thailand you're not completely used to the last one.
On my way to walk across the bridge over the River Kwai, I looked to my left and not-so-casually yelled "THAT IS A LEOPARD" to a leopard casually sleeping on a table a mere 8 feet away from us. It wasn't until our way back that we realized the leopard was in fact chained to the table (by an incredibly short chain). We noticed this however, because it was waking up and snapping at people. When I took a picture of it, the owner asked if I would like to take a picture with it "only 100 baht." Seeing as I did not want to support this cruel man--or get my head bitten off-- I politely declined.

1. The day students had to charade that a man fell through the ceiling
I know I've already told this story, but the mixture between the scaffolding at my school and the fact that a workman was so easily able to fall through the roof of my classroom still blows my mind.
One day as I was exiting the cafeteria, four of my tiniest and most adorable students swarmed me and began jabbering in Thai. My students began pointing to the fifth floor of the building in front of them, where their classroom is, and continually said the word "drop!" "Are they telling me about an egg drop?" I thought. They then began to grab my arms and yell "lift! lift!" as they led me over to the elevator. I said to them, "you want me to lift you somewhere? Am I going to get in trouble? Are you tricking me?!" Of course none of this was understood so I got into the elevator and they jumped up to hit the "5" button. I walked hurriedly down the hall with my pint-sized companions, and ended up in their classroom where there were several women sweeping up debris from a giant hole that had formed in the ceiling. "OH," I said. "A man dropped through the roof." 

pink elephants didn't even make the list of top 5 ridiculousness

And there you have it...my absurd time in Thailand thus far. It's been great, I love it, and I hope dodging elephants, yelling at children nicknamed inanimate objects, and playing charades doesn't get old too fast.